The Writing

Earn Easy Voiceover Money

By Barnaby | July 22, 2016

Let’s talk business. The voiceover business, to be specific. It’s taken a lot of work, but I’m now able to offer my voiceover services: But this isn’t all about self-promotion. What’s in it for you? Money, that’s what. And easy money at that. Voiceover Artist As an introductory offer, until next Friday – that’s … Read more

Annoying the French..

By Barnaby | June 4, 2014

‘France would be lovely if it weren’t for the French.’ How many times have you heard that? Much as it’s every Englishman’s duty to urinate on a Belgian at some point, it is equally ingrained that annoying the French is part and parcel of being English. To wit, let’s take an example from a day … Read more


By Barnaby | April 14, 2014

#24hours7cities? At 12.25pm tomorrow (UK time), I’ll attempt to smash the current Guinness World Record for Visiting Most Number of Capital Cities. The record stands at six; tomorrow I’m attempting seven. Oh, and the small print is that it has to be done in 24hours. Erm, hence #24hours7cities on Twitter. Why bother? Put simply, in … Read more

Human Trafficking in 2014..

By Barnaby | April 2, 2014

In 1888 it all finished, right? After the transportation of approximately 12 million Africans to the Americas, Brazil was the last country to finally outlaw slavery. That was the end of official, legal slavery, sure. But, boy, has it flourished ever since, and it’s still thriving today. In a big way. Are we talking about … Read more

Guinness World Record 2014..

By Barnaby | March 30, 2014

STOP PRESS –  a Guinness World Record attempt is imminent. Will I be scoffing 17 doughnuts non-stop? Standing flamingo-like on one leg for 96 hours? No, on April 15th, I’m attempting to smash a 24 hour travel record. And to really go the extra mile, this particular Guinness World Record must be attempted without a … Read more

One for the Ladies: The Vibrator

By Barnaby | February 28, 2014

                        Women are complex. Or are they? ‘A few laughs and a stiff prick – that’s all a girl wants. I read it in a magazine,’ said Rupert Everett in the film Hysteria. Well, let’s look into that for a minute. Can you believe … Read more

Beyonce Tour Europe 2014

By Barnaby | February 23, 2014

For those who don’t know Namibian, I’ve included a picture. Here he is, twerking in Glasgow, as we begin the second European leg of the Beyonce Tour. Notice anything different about him? ‘I’ve lost nine kilos and can see my dick now,’ he brags. But that’s not what I meant. No, this frothy soul – … Read more

Slovenia is a Country..

By Barnaby | February 15, 2014

                    As sure as day follows night, mistakes are made. But to some – namely Slovenians, when they’re being lumped in with Slovakians – this can be a matter of intense vexation. Slovenia, believe it or not, is an actual country. And given that she’s winning … Read more

Airport Craziness..

By Barnaby | February 8, 2014

‘Moving sidewalk ends. Prepare to step off,’ read the sign in Nashville airport the other day. Well, I wondered who that sign would benefit. Somebody forgetting that he was on a travellator? Possibly. A blind woman? Certainly not. A cretin? Ah, we’re approaching the nub. Surely this is another example of global malaise. I went … Read more

Britain’s Metric Imperial System..

By Barnaby | February 1, 2014

‘Sherry?’ asked my mother at Christmas. ‘Just an eighth of an inch,’ replied my grandmother, wrestling with this blatant abuse of alcohol. An eighth of an inch? I thought we’d gone metric in the UK. Maybe this is a generational thing. So in a bar the other evening, I asked a woman in her mid-twenties … Read more