Scribbling away with Big thoughts.

The written thoughts of a traveller.

Touring with Rock ‘n’ Roll bands; exploring Europe and the world; flirting in bars… and some naughtiness.

Oh, and all with a trombone. Enjoy.. 

One Up The Bum – Considerable Harm Done..

I’ve been thinking about punishment this week. No, not devising a ladder rack large enough to dislocate Namibians; more like dwelling on that San Marino Torture Museum. It was a grizzly experience, and I’m chagrined by the depths of human cruelty. Don’t get me wrong. Leaning marginally to the right, I wouldn’t lose any sleep

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San Marino’s Spanish Ticklers..

San Marino – a tax haven. Some come here to shop duty-free, others to coo at this charming medieval jewel rising atop Mount Titano. The state is the oldest republic in the world. Well, you can Google its history, dimensions and relative recent UNESCO status in 2008. But let me tell you that this city-state

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A Swiss Party (Part Two)…

A week-long binge in England would have consequences. Fried to the tonsils, youths would without doubt overdo things; policemen would be biffed left, right and centre; ASBOs would be liberally dished out like toilet paper. Biffing policemen, I might add, should be done sparingly, if at all – viz. in emergencies, such as interfering with

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A Swiss Party (Part One)..

Were you to have a bigoted view of the Swiss, what would you think of? A timid throat-clearing at the Wednesday matinee? A pusillanimous boffin meticulously recording his watchmaker sales in triplicate? An apple-cheeked teetotaller still harrumphing that the 06.12 train to Lausanne ran four seconds behind schedule in 1993? Well, I’ll give you half

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Where’s the Road Gone?..

I say, this weather’s getting a bit serious. A good rule of thumb, I’ve always thought, is if you can’t physically get to  – or indeed see – your vehicle, it might as well stay where it is. Sound sensible? Yes, well let’s hope the beer truck can get through; surely this qualifies, even in

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Jazz and Cafes..

In Secrets of Paris, Vernon Coleman writes, ‘London invented coffee houses but abandoned them. Today, only Vienna has cafes which match those of Paris.’ Well said, Vernon – I shall take a brandy immediately, to fortify myself for the day ahead. First stop, Cafe Leopold Hawelka, a dimly lit cafe in central Vienna. It’s perfect

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Should pigs be in zoos?..

Normally, a man needs an excuse to visit a zoo – perhaps in the form of a child needing a chaperone. Or maybe a simpering girl, treating you to a glimpse of her petticoats and whooping at the cute little penguins. Of course, it might simply be a judgement muddied by drink. What’s my excuse?

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Horsing About in Vienna..

A Strauss waltz plays unobtrusively in the background. Tourists drift onto the grand, stone-balustraded balconies; horses trot elegantly through the sawdust below, their riders sitting regally astride in brass-buttoned tunics. ‘Stallions, Barn, not horses,’ corrects Crazy Sandra. ‘The ones when they have a shot and it doesn’t work.’ She is pressing her hands together, colouring

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Namibian’s Still Alive..

Prepare to raise an eyebrow. Or, should you wish to pip Roger Moore, by all means raise both. Simultaneously. You will perhaps be surprised to learn that a degree of fitness is required to drive a truck. There, I’ve said it. No, nothing to do with the hefty rigours of manipulating sixteen gears and assisting

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“Barnaby’s thoughtful musings on his voyage through life. You are not alone as you travel that valley my son.”

Father Pius Smith, Hastings.