The written thoughts of a traveller.
Touring with Rock ‘n’ Roll bands; exploring Europe and the world; flirting in bars… and some naughtiness.
Oh, and all with a trombone. Enjoy..
What a great concert – I slept like a log. I dozed off just as the show went up. Later, dimly aware of cannons firing, signalling the end of the gig, my alarm went off. Hearing intact, the truck bed was possibly the best seat at the venue. The Black Ice World Tour is a
The cleaner looks puzzled. As she mops the Catering floor, she exposes brick. The grey metallic paint is water-based. Already, on Day one of opening, the newly-painted floor resembles an ugly patchwork quilt. Traipsing through in snow-covered boots rids the floor of any remaining paint, most of it now embedded in the carpets of trucks.
Norway, as you may know, rebuffed the euro. It has its own currency – kroner – as does Sweden and Denmark, but they’re different in all three countries. This constitutes something of a nuisance when touring, and has led to the dubbing of currencies as “shitters”. The term applies in the touring industry to any
Oh, isn’t paperwork a bore? We’re mostly spoilt nowadays with these paperless open borders throughout Europe, but there are still a couple of non-conformers: namely Norway and Switzerland. Neither belongs to the European Union, which means we have to export gear from the EU, then import it into these countries, and vice versa on
It is 86km to the next truckstop, or “autohof”, as they say in Germany. Our maximum speed is a snail-like 84km/h, and we have less than an hour of driving time on the tachograph. ‘We should make it,’ says Namibian. Ooh, I assume everybody knows what a tachograph is? Very briefly, it is a system
Things are going from bad to worse: we’ve run out of gas for the stove. I blame Namibian; he blames me. A stalemate. Would you believe we have a third back-up plan? One simply cannot tour without cups of tea so we are – and I hate to say this – rather over-prepared for any
What a start to an AC/DC tour. We’re parked on loading bays of a warehouse on Middelmolenlaan, a street in Antwerp utterly devoid of character. The warehouse is empty; the containers of equipment are not due to arrive until tomorrow. This is the type of place that proper lorry drivers go – not even a
I was so busy describing the Tina show yesterday that I forgot to mention that Namibian and I have been chucked off the tour! No, it’s not because we’ve been naughty, or indeed for not being naughty enough; this is purely for logistical reasons – to avoid having too many subcontractors on a single tour.
Anybody who puts a tea break in the middle of a concert is a star in my book. There’s nothing worse than needing the loo an hour into a show, and having to stand there like a lemon, crossing your legs. The first half of Tina’s show closes with ‘we don’t need another hero..’, and
“Barnaby’s thoughtful musings on his voyage through life. You are not alone as you travel that valley my son.”
Father Pius Smith, Hastings.
