Now that the U2 tour is finally over, I bumble up to Suffolk to return the truck to Transam Trucking’s yard. It’s in a small village that only just features on road maps, and where the denizens still use beads for currency. They look on with wonder at modern innovations like the pound coin.

Radio Two’s signal grows ever weaker, and the roads narrow appreciably. In fact, Transam drivers have a saying: ‘If you can make it to the main road (A140 Norwich – Ipswich) from the yard, then you’ll probably be OK for the tour.’

Load of Old Rap

Before the radio fades completely, Steve Wright manages to announce that our tastes in music give clues to our personality. ‘Rap fans are outgoing,’ he says. Well, that’s news. There was me thinking that shouting to a drumbeat appealed to introverts.

Emptying the cab, and discovering the detritus from eight months’ touring – there’s a biscuit from February or March, or possibly January, behind the seats – I look forward to some peace and quiet at home.

Just at that moment a Kentish dressage champion – to be thematically consistent I may as well mention her E cup – texts with the following: ‘I am about this afternoon if you want to pop in for a cup of tea and optional stringless filth.’ Ooh, I love a girl with her own kettle. And it is on the way home..