One for the Ladies: The Vibrator

                        Women are complex. Or are they? ‘A few laughs and a stiff prick – that’s all a girl wants. I read it in a magazine,’ said Rupert Everett in the film Hysteria. Well, let’s look into that for a minute. Can you believe … Read more

Beyonce Tour Europe 2014

For those who don’t know Namibian, I’ve included a picture. Here he is, twerking in Glasgow, as we begin the second European leg of the Beyonce Tour. Notice anything different about him? ‘I’ve lost nine kilos and can see my dick now,’ he brags. But that’s not what I meant. No, this frothy soul – … Read more

Slovenia is a Country..

                    As sure as day follows night, mistakes are made. But to some – namely Slovenians, when they’re being lumped in with Slovakians – this can be a matter of intense vexation. Slovenia, believe it or not, is an actual country. And given that she’s winning … Read more

Airport Craziness..

‘Moving sidewalk ends. Prepare to step off,’ read the sign in Nashville airport the other day. Well, I wondered who that sign would benefit. Somebody forgetting that he was on a travellator? Possibly. A blind woman? Certainly not. A cretin? Ah, we’re approaching the nub. Surely this is another example of global malaise. I went … Read more

Britain’s Metric Imperial System..

‘Sherry?’ asked my mother at Christmas. ‘Just an eighth of an inch,’ replied my grandmother, wrestling with this blatant abuse of alcohol. An eighth of an inch? I thought we’d gone metric in the UK. Maybe this is a generational thing. So in a bar the other evening, I asked a woman in her mid-twenties … Read more