AC/DC – Borders, Barcelona and Banquets..

I ought to clear up a little misunderstanding, I think. There is, unfortunately, very little sex on tour. The legend of women throwing themselves at rock stars may or may not be true, but we truckers see little of it. Our schedule, as I hope you’ve gathered, dictates sobriety and appalling hours – hardly conducive … Read more

AC/DC – Zurich to Barcelona..

AC/DC’s gig was cancelled in Zurich last night. I realise the inconvenience to the fans, but from our end it spelled absolute catastrophe: no catering. Namibian, at the loss of both a cooked breakfast and yet more weight, chomped furiously at the bit. You see, he hadn’t planned to go anywhere (obviously), happily surviving without … Read more

Forward or Back?

Julian, a pal from school days, lives in Zurich. I hastily abandon the truck this morning, and board a tram to go and see him. The tram is travelling in the wrong direction. With every intention to purchase a travelcard once in town, but with no Swiss money immediately to hand, I have to sit … Read more

AC/DC – Munich to Zurich..

A bit more on Neuschwanstein Castle? OK then – I’ll do all the travelling. You just put your feet up. Maxine tells us to have our barcodes ready as we mill about in the courtyard among a hundred other tourists. Ludwig II’s death rather halted construction of this castle -and therefore much of the building’s … Read more

A fairytale castle..

Last night was a perfect opportunity to drink heavily and chase women. We’d unloaded at noon – a day early to comply with tachograph rules – which left a free evening and a lie-in today. However, instead of visiting Boob’s table-dance bar (complete with video cabins) near the station, I poured a nice glass of … Read more

AC/DC – Frankfurt to Munich..

I hate to dwell on a single episode. But the peeing incident is being blown out of proportion. Entering Catering last night, I received knowing looks; it’s as though I’m the Peckham Pouncer, renowned for waving my willy at policewomen, and exposing myself at every opportunity. And “Carrot”, a fellow event trucker, opens a telephone … Read more

AC/DC Tour – From bad to worse..

A good-natured joust takes place at 1am. Namibian has gone and made tea instead of coffee. ‘You said you wanted tea in the mornings,’ he squeals defensively. Well, technically he has me there, but, as I say, it is 1am, which I think even a devout Muslim would regard as night-time. ‘We’ll have trouble getting … Read more

AC/DC Tour – Budapest to Frankfurt..

A flash in the mirrors illuminates a raccoon’s intestines on the trailer mudguards. In fairness, I don’t quite know what went under the wheels. But I can’t face removing animal guts, and I’m hoping a lengthy journey will dislodge them – hopefully somewhere in Austria. Aha, the flash turns out to be Namibian electrocuting himself … Read more

AC/DC Tour – Budapest without a satnav..

Yet again we’re up before the milk. An unmentionable hour sees three trucks hovering on a roundabout in Budapest’s suburbs. Namibian, Little Dick and I pore studiously over a map in the inky blackness. The perennial problem with this vast metropolis, you see, is that, as you approach, road signs indicating truck transit routes resemble … Read more

I think I gave her the willies..

Just in case you were worrying, a train did eventually arrive in Milan – with me on it. Sunburned AC/DC truckers, with cheerful dispositions, proved what good weather I had missed fooling about attempting to scale glaciers. Today, too, is sunny, yet is spent driving and dealing with a menopausal harridan of a policewoman. She … Read more